There’s a guy on the penthouse balcony of a high-rise about to kill himself. A negotiator with a loud hailer is trying to convince him he shouldn’t jump:

“Stop, stop, don’t do it.”

The guy looks down and asks:

“Why not?”

“Well… there’s so much to live for.”

“What’s that then? My kids are on crack and my wife just eloped with their dealer.”

“Well, there’s your faith. Your religion.”

“Yes?”

“Are you religious?”

“Yes.”

“Me, too. Christian, Muslim or Jew?”

“Christian.”

“Me, too. Catholic or Protestant?”

“Protestant.”

“Hey, far out. Me too. Methodist, Baptist, or Presbyterian?”

“Baptist.”

“Right on. Listen, are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Saviour?”

“Baptist Church of God.”

“Praise the Lord, we’re brothers. Tell me, are you Original Baptist Church of God or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God.”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God Reformation of 1917?”

“1917.”

“Hey, you know what, Jump, you filthy heathen heretic scum.”

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