Picture if you will, Dionne Hendry and James Bain.

They are not what you might call the perfect couple.

Jimmy is a heavy cocaine user with movie-fuelled gangster fantasies and an ambition to become a king-pin of Scotland’s narcotics trade.

Dionne, on the other hand is much closer to the real thing: she belongs to a notorious crime family.

Maybe she uses this fact to wind Jimmy up; maybe Jimmy doesn’t take much winding… anyway, she often takes a beating.

When, after a particularly brutal assault on a Friday night, Dionne seeks refuge at her sister’s place, she unwittingly sets off a chain of events that culminate in the horrific slaying of one of her relatives in an Edinburgh pub.

Her brother in law, Alex Mckinnon, a former Scottish bantam weight boxing champion turned organised criminal and drug dealer, is furious when he hears about her latest ordeal.

He and his wife’s brother, James Hendry, decide enough is enough and immediately head to the couple’s home to give Bain a dose of his own medicine, Hendry style, to teach him a lesson he’s never going to forget.

However, Jimmy’s no fool; expecting trouble, he goes underground. So the avengers pay his father a visit and make it plain that the boy is due for some extreme grief.

When word reaches Bain he’s in Purple La-La Land, swirling in a nightmarish vertigo of drug-fuelled paranoia: he decides that pre-emptive action against his hunters is the only course open to him.

So, with two quick phone calls he arranges the “hire” of a 12 bore double-barreled sawn-off and, after drinking a bottle of vodka and snorting the best part of a gram of best Bolivian, he and an accomplice, dressed in balaclavas and hoodies, set off for the Marmion pub, a regular Saturday night hang-out of the Hendry mob.

In the pub the two men coolly and stealthily approach their target, the way Jimmy has seen it done in a hundred movies. He pulls down his balaclava, levels the gun at Mckinnon’s head and looses off both barrels.

However, the assasins have made no plans for a getaway and Bain is soon fleeing for his life from the other Hendrys and their friends.

In a panic he heads for home, but his pursuers are no fools either. They have anticipated this move and are waiting for him there when he arrives.

Full fury is unleashed. Jimmy’s face and head are smashed to a bloody pulp and he is left for dead, battered and unconscious, in a garden, where the police find him three hours later.

The last I hear he is in a critical but stable condition at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary waiting to be charge with murder, if he pulls through.

His accomplice, Ricky Cosgrove, has disappeared and, word has it, has committed suicide.